xXZachXx
(as described by a hurricane)
 
- 19 and HARDCAOOREORERERERE
 
- NOT A DOUCHEBAG
 
- Candidly charming and occasionally homoerotic
 
- Sometimes has facial hair
 
- Has a love for movies and music that rivals Ike Turner’s love for misogyny and domestic violence
 
- Likes to punch himself in the head and crowd kill in his free time
 
- Lets me freeload off his Netflix account
 
- Wears cardigans
 
- Has an undying love for Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Daniel Day-Lewis
 
- Answers to a variety of monikers including (but not limited to): Captain Buttercock, Zachbert, Zachary-kun, faggot, asshole, and Robert Redford
 
- HAS DIABETES AHHAHEHAHHAHEAHDFJHASLKDJFAHELF
KJDF
 
- Will be your friend as long as you aren’t a part of the Westboro Baptist Church